Today marks 50 days until I release my poetry collection, Bleeding Orchid. It includes my story from diagnosis to remission and everything in between. I pour my heart into these poems and capture snippets in time where I felt lost, alone, was in pain, felt depressed, felt my dignity was stolen, exposed, and downright suicidal. The moments I never quite admitted to myself or my family and friends, until now.
It also captures my journey through treatments, medication, side effects, surgeries, recovery, and the struggles that come from them. The hospital stays with and without family, the long car rides I had to take to get to my doctor in Albuquerque, 3 hours away. Among other obstacles in life that I faced, including a miscarriage.
I capture moments where I questioned my faith, God’s plan, and the unbelievable doubt I had during this horrible ordeal. Including a time when a pastor came to my room and I angrily sent him away because of the way I was feeling. I later regretted this as that day, I almost lost my life. I prayed and asked for forgiveness and moved past the doubt and the pain.
I capture the good times and happy moments. The relationships I gained with medical professionals and family members. How thankful I was to be in good hands and despite my obstacles, the good that came from them. The outcomes of how I feel now and moving forward.
I could write a book about my experiences and it might help others who have been diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease or any other autoimmune disease, but I’m not going to do that. To be honest, it is too painful to visit all those times and not feel it all again. So, instead I give you these snapshots of the times where I was low and high.
I hope these poems will inspire you, make you question how you view life, and most importantly, look at your life and see how beautiful life can be.
As this countdown begins, I’ll be posting daily until the reveal of my book. I’ll also be giving you 2 teasers for my cover, and eventually, I will release my cover to you. I hope you will follow me and get a copy. To share my story is to share my soul.